Teddy’s Birth Story

I’m a big planner.  I was THAT girl who insisted on helping plan my own bridal and baby shower.  Worst part is, I actually enjoyed it! The thought of giving birth was extremely difficult for me because I couldn’t do what I did naturally- PLAN.  Sure, I could plan for the aftermath. In fact I stuffed my hospital bag with all sorts of goodies to help my lady parts: tucks pads, dermoplast, and Depends diapers just to name a few!  But, the ultimate arrival of my baby boy would be completely out of my hands, and that gave me some major anxiety. It was when my doctor suggested I be induced that I actually felt some relief.  To a planner, this is amazing news. I would KNOW {approximately} when my Teddy would be arriving! We were even allowed to choose a day of the week to head into the hospital. We decided on a Tuesday – why Tuesday? So I could sing “Got my baby comin’ out…..onna Tuesday” on the way to the hospital, DUH.  Where my rap fans at?

We were admitted at 9:00 pm Tuesday, January 23.  I was given Cervidil to help soften/dilate my cervix at 11:00 pm.  I read horror stories about Cervidil and how painful the insertion process was.  To be honest, it was NOTHING! It was in and I felt totally fine. Enter the 12 hour waiting period.  The nurse put a contraction monitor on me that also allowed me to hear/see Teddy’s little heart beat.  I think the sound of it kept me awake to be honest. I kept glancing at the monitor curiously. I barely slept through the night even though I felt completely normal, other than some minor period cramps.  The following morning, my doctor came in to check my progress. I was crossing my fingers that I would be at least 2 centimeters dilated. No such luck! The Cervidil barely got me to 1 centimeter. JOY! My doctor allowed me to shower before we started the Pitocin IV.  I remember being in the shower petrified while rubbing my belly knowing this was our last shower together. Any other pregnant readers LOVE showering as much as I did when they were pregnant? It was my favorite place to be – I showered 3 times a day!

After the shower, the nurse started my IV and Pitocin.  The Pitocin started at a Level 2 and out of curiosity I made the mistake of asking what level it goes up to.  The nurse replied casually, “Eh, you’ll be in the 20s today.” Can we say ANXIETY? Haha. I had this idea that once the Pitocin was administered, I would immediately feel contractions.  It doesn’t quite work like that. Well, at least for me it didn’t.  It wasn’t until around 2:00 in the afternoon that I started getting some serious contractions and asked my doctor for the epidural. All of my friends made it very clear to get the epidural as soon as I started to feel painful contractions.  My doctor agreed it was time but also informed me that he would need to break my water before I could get it. It would be my “reward” for my water breaking. I wondered why I would need to be rewarded for something I thought was painless. WELL! It was NOT painless- that is why! The nurse had to hold down my hips because apparently they kept popping off the bed.  He also waited for me to have a huge contraction to insert the long pointy instrument to break my water. The good news? It only took about 10 seconds until I felt the huge gush of water. The gush of water that kept coming…and coming…and coming. I envisioned my water breaking as one big gush. To my surprise, it continued for about 30 minutes to an hour. My ultrasound techs always said I had a great amount of amniotic fluid but WOWSAS.  Some of my other girlfriends described theirs as a trickle. I guess it all depends! I also expected to feel differently after my water broke, but I felt exactly the same.

Once my water was broke, the anesthesiologist came in to administer my epidural.  Finally! I’m pretty good with needles, having gone through IVF, and I wasn’t nervous about the epidural at all.  By this time, I was having contractions that were fairly intense and I just wanted the pain to go away. The hardest part of the epidural for me was getting massive contractions while having to remain completely still.  I squeezed the nurse’s hand so hard I remember her pulling it away and shaking it. Poor lady! The anesthesiologist asked me how I felt and I said good. Then she said, “Ok, because you just had the biggest contraction yet.”  I didn’t even feel it! I still felt slight pressure and was aware of when I was having a contraction, but it was totally bearable. About 4 hours later the doctor came in to check my progress, or lack thereof. I was only 1-2 centimeters.  Would I even have a baby today? The nurses from the previous night were BACK for work again! They couldn’t believe we were still here, with no progress.

It was now dark outside and and I was sure I had dilated some more.  I was watching my contractions get huge on the monitor and my Pitocin level was a 22. They even came in and gave me a peanut ball to wrap my leg around to help the process.   I was so hopeless when the doctor came in an told me “only 2-3 centimeters.” I asked the nurse if this was normal and she said I would probably need a “topper” of the epidural medication.  I was given the topper directly into my IV and immediately felt great. A few minutes later I started feeling a bit weird. My mom rubbed my leg and although I saw her hand touching my leg, I felt ZERO.  My husband then made a joke, I laughed, and didn’t feel my stomach tighten as I laughed. I started to panic because I couldn’t feel ANYTHING from my ribs down. For me, it was very scary and triggered an anxiety attack, of course!  I wish I could have handled it like William from I Can’t Hardly Wait: 

My anxiety attack led to me feeling suddenly nauseous.  I had my husband grab the garbage and had my mom tilt my body to the side as I started puking bile.  I felt so miserable! The next part I still don’t understand, but as soon as I was done throwing up, my epidural completely failed, again.  I started feeling a burning/tingly sensation on my stomach and legs and knew pain would quickly follow, which it did.  My epidural had FAILED ME AGAIN, but this time, my contractions were so intense that I immediately asked for the doctor to see if I had made any progress over the last few hours.  I also noticed that Teddy’s heart rate was above the threshold on the monitor, meaning that he may be in distress.  The doctor took about an hour to get to me, during which my husband counted me through my contractions.  That part was kind of reassuring.  You could actually watch a contraction start, climb up, and then start to drop down.  At least I knew the pain was coming to an end for a minute or so.  When the doctor arrived he too noticed Teddy’s heart rate was high and gave me one last check.  I was only 3-4 centimeters.  He said that once I got to 5 centimeters, it would most likely be another 7-10 hours before I was ready to push.  It was around 11:00 pm when he recommended that we prep for a c-section due to my lack of progress and the fact that Teddy’s heart rate was staying high.  Below is a picture of the charts in case you are curious.  The top chart shows Teddy’s heart rate and the bottom chart shows my contractions (this was taken before his heart rate became high).  We agreed to the c-section.  To be honest, I kind of knew all along I would have a c-section.  Is it weird I wanted one?  I obviously had no clue about the recovery (which is and will be another full post).  I signed off on a few papers, they suited Steve up in some scrubs, and my mom grabbed the camera.  Can you tell my husband HATES pictures?

The anesthesiologist came back in and pretty much talked me off the ledge.  I was mentally and physically SHOT and was very nervous about getting a c-section now that it was definitely happening.  Her name was Christine too and she had 3 c-sections, assuring me she would be by my side talking me through it.  She gave me more pain medication through my existing IV and I was wheeled off across the hall to the surgery room, which of course was BRIGHT WHITE, just like in all the movies.  Oh – Also!  My body was violently shaking which I was very concerned about.  How would they be able to slice and dice me if I was uncontrollably convulsing?  Apparently this is a normal reaction from all of the Epidural medication.  They did a bunch of prick tests to make sure I was completely numb, then brought in my husband and sat him by my face.  They put a curtain up SO close to my face that I almost had a second anxiety attack from feeling like I couldn’t breath.  They started the surgery and I was surprised to feel as much as I did.  You know what they are doing and when they are doing it, but you don’t feel the pain associated with it.  The first thing I remember is smelling something burning.  That can’t be good, I thought.  Good thing Christine was by my side constantly assuring me it was all normal.  She was distracting us by having us guess Teddy’s birth weight, his hair color, etc.  Before I knew it she said, “Omg I can see him! He has so much hair!”  A few minutes later they brought him over for us to see.  My husband captured my first look below – see that bucket next to my face?  I made Christine put it there because I was nervous I would puke.  Haha, I’m such a panic, I know!

Theodore Alexander Johnson was born on January 24, 2018 at 11:51 pm.  He was 8 lbs 5 oz of pure perfection!  They took him to be cleaned and asked my husband to follow while they stitched my body back together, ah!  I was wheeled out and was so relieved – I did it!  We were a family.  Thank you so much for reading my first blog post.  I hope you stick around for more of my stories!